de·prive
–verb, -prived, -priv·ing.
"to remove or withhold something from the enjoyment or possession of (a person or persons)."
It's a bad word isn't it? Deprive. Deprivation. It feels synonymous with the word, "diet." Ooooh. Bad Me. Because diet and deprivation both kind of feel like they belong in the same category right? If you would like to lose weight, the best, healthiest, longest-lasting method is to make it a lifestyle change; a conscious decision made with the rest of your life in mind. And since diets have a "start" and an "end" the "d" word is a no-no. Similarily, I hear the word deprivation and think, "Who, realistically, could ever (or would ever want to) 'deprive' themselves from food the rest of their life? Deprivation is what Dawn did, is what anorexics do, is what crazy crash-dieters do: 'Witholding (food) from the enjoyment or possession of a person.'"
But.
THis weekend I passed up a donut (saturday), some homemade strawberry shortcake (Sunday), and opted for the healthy entree at a restaurant (Saturday again). I sometimes wonder, "Am I depriving myself?" No. I'm just giving it up for something I want more. To fit into a pair of sixes, to feel gross when I eat really unhealthy food, to get a good night's sleep. (crazy that it's starting to affect my sleep. who knew eating better could help you sleep better. ha. probably lots of you...)
That's not to say I pass on everything. Friday was my free day and I enjoyed several handfuls of mini-marshmallows (the fruity kind) and a couple of handfuls of chocolate chips. That was right before the delicious steak, mashed potatoes, salad drenched in dressing and big fatty white roll.
Anyway, my point is that sometimes deprivation seems like an uncomfortable investment with very little return. The fact is though, I've started losing weight again over the past month because I've been saying "no thanks" a lot more. No to the leftovers on the baby's highchair tray, no to dessert at neighbor's houses, no to Krispy Kreme. For lots of reasons (one of them being the level of content I've reached with my body) I had been saying "ok, sure, what's one more cookie going to hurt" a little more than I'd like to admit.
And so maybe a little deprivation isn't so horrible. Donuts, ice cream, pizza, chocolate cake... Could I give it all up cold turkey? NEVER! I wouldn't want to. But could I live without it for six days a week? Absolutely. Not getting that extra hour of sleep this morning could be seen as SERIOUS hardship, but I'm getting to the point where not going for a run in the morning feels more like deprivation.
As for the word "diet," I know so many people who have started one like weight watchers, or body for life, or eating clean, who have realized they like the way they feel when they're following it's guidelines. Long after the "diet" has ended, is it possible that they might just take away some healthier habits? Just a thought...
Is there a point where what felt like deprivation in the beginning doesn't anymore? What do you think about the "d" words?
April 13, 2008
Deprivation Gets a Bad Rap
April 2, 2008
Parking Pickings
This morning (and every morning) when I arrive at the gym I come in from the very back of the parking lot and start to look for a spot. I'm usually getting there early and there are always other cars circling the spaces. Most people drive straight to the first avaliable spot (always way far back), park, and run inside. Not me. I always drive all the way up to the front to check for any open spaces, cause hey. Me and my '02 Sienna deserve a good parking spot. Bingo! Very often I will find a front spot is open. And as I pull into my awesome parking spot I can't help but wonder EVERY SINGLE TIME: "Do these people know they could've had an awesome spot? Did they just not want to take the time? Did they look up the row and think, 'Meh, they're probably all full...' or think, "Oh I need to get here early to get one of THOSE spots."
It's like since they weren't able see it, they assumed it wasn't there. And then I shed a little tear for all of the poor suckahs with their far far away cars all the way over on the other side of the parking lot by the bank. Poor Poor gym people. Shoulda driven up the aisle.
But they never do! They'd probably be likely to brush it off with "Who cares where I park? I just want to get in there and workout." To which I would smile and say, "Yeah, it's just a place to put your car" but I'd really be thinking, "We both know you're jealous of my spot. It's ok."
Every time I pull into a front spot it makes me happy (more happy than other people I suspect). The extra calories burned from walking further to my car pale in comparison to the victory in finding the coveted parking prize. I suddenly feel able to conquer all that lies in my path (which usually means dumbbells or a sidewalk). This morning's awesome workout actually had more to do with a space between two little white lines than my muscles or determination or motivation.
***UPDATE***
Some of you (Sarah and anon) park in the back for the extra calories burned and to avoid getting dinged. So now I'm curious, if you're a "back of the lot parker" would you still park far away if you saw a very front spot open?...not 10 feet away from the entrance? (And please tell me I'm not the only one who gets excited about a good parking space...)
March 31, 2008
The Great Debate
I have been paralyzed for months, unable to make a decision on how to spend a $50 gift card from the Gap. That, and I don't exactly go to the mall to browse very often ever (if you don't know why, go read this post).
I don't have ANY jeans in a size 6 (and I am getting there people, slowly but surely).
So jeans it is.
But then there's this stuff from GapBody, my favorite sports bra and some loungey workout capris...
I haven't bought ANY new workout clothes since the baby (who is now 18 months) was born. Come to think of it...since well before I even got pregnant with him. 
I need some new attire. Bad.
I go back and forth in my head ("Well, I could always pick up some workout gear at Target, then I could just get the jeans...BUT the sports bra I CANNOT get at Target...you pay for what you get with that one...I could spend it on workout clothes and then just go to a trendy-ish used clothing store to get some new jeans...AH, but there's nothing like a new pair of jeans...actually there's nothing like some new workout clothes...")
Here's the deal:
desperate need of new jeans and new workout clothes.
$50 Gap card, $20 max to spend outside of the Gap (the sports bra is $40 on sale for $30. The jeans are $59.50, the capris are 24.99)
Help. Any suggestions?
March 20, 2008
Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater
(Which really should be "Cheater Cheater Brownie Eater" because pumpkin just isn't that tempting...)
So here's the question of the day:
Do you do the "cheat meal" or "free day"? (Using one planned meal or day where you just get to eat whatever you want) Have you mastered the balance of the occasional treat?
--FYI: I'm not exactly looking for the scientific or psychological evidence that it is or isn't beneficial in losing weight. I'm just curious if and when you use them.--
I'm interested in the whole concept of a guilt free eat-whatever-you-want allowance (...and by the way I just don't like the word cheat. It implies you're doing something really naughty by eating a cupcake. While it can, in fact, keep you from losing weight, that doesn't mean there isn't a place for it. I'm just curious where your place falls. Planned, unplanned, a nibble, 3 smooshed together with nuts and whipped cream? )
February 5, 2008
Why Do You Eat?
Besides, of course, for the obvious life-sustaining benefits.
Today I opened a package of graham crackers, broke the long rectangle in half and went to hand it to my toddler. And then, before putting the other half back in the package, I took a bite. (That's going to be a fun graham cracker to pull out next!) I stopped right as I was putting it back. What the...
Did I really just do that?
Oh yes I did. And then tonight I was walking around the house wanting cake. All I wanted was cake. Oh yes, and gobs and gobs of frosting. I sat there and tried to think about why I wanted cake, how I would feel after I had eaten the cake, how it would essentially cancel out my awesome run from earlier in the day, etc. I tried distracting myself, but there was no getting around it: I had serious cake brain. I ended up having a cookie and it kind of took care of the craving.
I was left wondering. Lately I have found myself eating for so many other reasons than fueling my body. I'm not talking holidays and special occasions, just the everyday.
Like, "Huh. it's in my hand, let's take a bite," or
"We can't leave the house, the kids are going crazy, let's bake!"
or the toddler will be crying and I'll pick him up and instinctively go into the kitchen. Why?
My whole poo-poo to winter attitude isn't just because of running in crap conditions; I struggle with urges to eat through the house. Out of frustration, out of boredom on an uber busy day (if that doesn't make sense, just ask a stay-at-home mom), out of habit, for taste, as a reward, for no reason at all! And although I'm not losing weight right now, I'm not gaining either (Thank you food journal). I'm lifting 2-3 times a week (thank you Corinne), my cardio is sporadic and has to happen at odd times whenever I am able to get it in. As I said, I'm already keeping a food journal and generally not going over my calorie range, but my eating is just messed up, frankly because my mental state is kind of jumbled. I don't feel myself. I feel a little bit like I'm floating, waiting to get my routine back, waiting for "normal" life to return. But until it does, I'd really like to stop taking the random bites of graham crackers.
It's funny, I really thought I had this "emotional eating" thing really worked through, I really try not to consciously turn to food when something goes wrong, or when challenges come. But lately It's been a struggle.
So why do you eat? Do you simply say, "I eat to nourish my body." If not, what are your "other" reasons? How do you separate everything else from food?
January 15, 2008
Fill in The Blank
"I would not be able to lose weight without ________________ . "
My answers:
1)My husband. Because on the days I whine about my pants being too tight, or how I ate too much, he's magically able to make me see things clearly without making me want to punch him (lots of practice).
Plus he watches the kidlets for me while I run. Plus, he hasn't baked anything since Thanksgiving (knock on wood).
2) Blogging. I know there are a lot of you out there who know exactly what I'm talking about.
What about you? Is it a person? Your scale? Your box of FiberOnes? Do share!
