Hubby Skinny

[Guest post by my husband Aaron]

Cute Katieo was racking her brain for what to write for today when she said, "You could write my post." (Hopeful grin)

"Sure."

"What would you write on?"

"I could write on how men see weight loss differently than women."

"What do you know about it? I grow humans, and then I push them out. That's why I have to lose weight. What's your excuse?"

Touché.

Undaunted, I am here to opine on the male perspective on weight loss. It's obvious that there are differences between men and women when it comes to this topic (and countless others). And even though I hate generalizing the sexes, I do have a few simple observations to make.

1. Men can be fatter without being fat.
I am sure the women reading that first statement felt a surge of emotion from the injustice of it all. (Can I get an Amen!?!) And it truly is unjust. There is nothing fair at all in the expectations put on women versus those put on men.

For men, its more about ranges then hard numbers. I have to admit, being 10-20lbs overweight doesn't feel much different socially than being at the correct, healthy weight. Being a bit overweight is just the "close enough" range. From plus 20lbs to plus 60lbs, we have the "big eater" range. Above 60lbs overweight, we have the "My wife would kill me if she knew I was eating this" range.

But even when men are considered fat, our society is much more accepting. There's a reason that the media will portray a man who is a closet eater on a Prime Time sitcom. It's comedy. The closet eating woman, however, gets portrayed on the Lifetime Network. (I still remember "a very special" Diff'rent Strokes when Kimberly Drummond turned out to be bulimic. That was not a funny episode. But how many times did I laugh at Bill Cosby sneaking a burger and fries into the kitchen?) Being overweight means two very different things, socially speaking, for the sexes.

One more bit of proof: Hungry Man frozen dinners. Ever see anyone market Hungry Woman frozen dinners? I rest my case.

2. For men, weight loss is more about beating the clock than beating the scale.
If you pay attention to the way men talk about weight loss, they tend to focus most on avoiding the fateful day when it all catches up to them. Be it a stroke, a heart attack, or diabetes, men fear the impending doom of being overweight. Tighter pants or a bump in the scale don't have the same effect. There certainly isn't enough social pressure to motivate, unless a man is severely overweight. But even at the "My wife would kill me if she knew I was eating this" range, it will be the hammer overhead that gets a man really serious about losing weight.

Because men focus on postponing D-day for their motivation, they have a hard time understanding why the last five pounds is so important to women. (After all, that is safely within the "close enough" range.) A man thinks to himself, "The last five pounds won't give you a heart attack, so what is the big deal?"

3. "Could do" is as good as "Done".
Every man who could stand to lose some pounds takes comfort in the thought that he could lose the weight if he really wanted to. Seeing some ripped beefcake at the gym or on TV doesn't make men jealous, because most of them think they could be the beefcake, too. "But I'm just busy right now. Besides, I hate exercising more than I want to be ripped. But I could do it."

So when a woman feels hopeless in the face of the scale, men don't immediately get it. "If I think I can do it, why don't you think you can do it?" Put that together with the "close enough" mentality, and you have a recipe for obliviousness.

With these simple observations in mind, it should come as no surprise that in my home state of Utah more men than women are overweight. But the slightly overweight men are "close enough" and the rest could lose the weight if they really wanted to.