Not the Usual Weigh-In

I lost weight this week. But it was not a good week. I don't remember anything I ate, I don't even remember even having an appetite (stop the presses!) and I went to the gym ONE time this week. So what was behind this freakish week?

Well, to understand we'll need to back up a bit. When Aaron was in graduate school we lived in student family housing; we made a ton of friends in this very close-knit community. One of my favorite memories living there was just going outside in the evenings and hanging out with all of our neighbors. No one had private yards. Anyway, one of these families we hung out with frequently and grew to absolutely adore was the Barnes family. And so followed the playdates, preschools, birthday parties, etc. We have since graduated and scattered along with all of the other young student families and couples who lived in that complex. We still live in close proximity to the Barnes and would see each other on a regular basis with school dropoffs. However, it seemed like every time I saw Melinda, I was saying something to the effect of, "Ah! We need to get together!" and then I'd both go my busy way full of intentions to set something up.

And so on Tuesday morning when we received an email letting us know that Clay Barnes, a helicopter pilot for the National Guard, was one of the two men killed in a tragic crash the night before, we were floored. Everything changed in a moment. So this week I have been consumed with thoughts of my friend Melinda Barnes, and Clay, who is now a missing piece in hers and her kid's lives.

Clay was a fantastic husband and a superfun daddy. When we were neighbors it was typical to knock on their door and hear a huge roar coming from Clay. When Melinda would answer the door, I remember more than once seeing him in the background chasing the kids around, who would be laughing hysterically. In fact, I think all kids just loved Clay. He was so kind to my boys; whenever we were around them he would take the time to talk and laugh with them. He noticed all the things that were important to them (ie, superhereos and sports). He would also occasionally fly his helicopter over our little apartment complex to let Melinda and the kids know he was there, which made my boys instantly promote him to SUPERDUPERCOOL status.

Capt. David Jungheim, Clay's company commander in the Guard said it best, "Everybody liked him. Everyone thought that they were one of his best friends. He was very much a family man, loved his wife and his kids, and he was convinced that his marriage was the happiest marriage in the world."

We will miss him.

My mind has turned to Melinda over these past couple of days hundreds of times. She has three very young kids and is pregnant with her fourth, due in November. To say 'my heart breaks for her' sounds cliche but is the most accurate way to put into words what I feel. She will know that when the funeral is over, family has gone home, and the coverage has wanned, I will remember that she is left. Without her best friend. I want her to know there are so many of us willing and ready to support her for as long as she needs us.

Ok, and not to go all Oprah on you but... if you need a reason to be kind today, a reason to start taking care of yourself, a reason to forgive someone, a reason to just appreciate and cherish the relationships that make everything worth it, you just got it. Life is precious and fleeting.

Sorry to digress so far off-topic. We will be back in regular form next week. Sharing this with you makes me not feel so utterly helpless. So Thank You. Your thoughts and prayers on their behalf are much appreciated.

Donations can be made at any Wells Fargo bank under the "In Memory of Clayton Barnes" fund. Click here to view his obituary.